Day ~46.

Just when I thought I was going to suffer endlessly ... I feel strangely normal today. A little off when I woke up at 4:30 a.m., and little wobbly when I got out of bed at 8 a.m., but right now I feel pretty much like myself. Oh, if only it would last forever! Maybe it will. Maybe I'll just have a brief bout of morning sickness, and the rest will be fine ...

Maybe it was the zillion peanut butter crackers I ate last night.

I just finished interviewing a professor for my big project at work - I was so inspired, listening to his passion for teaching, his hunger for reading and writing and learning, and his total belief in the power of showing students how to think. I am absolutely beaming inside at the thought of guiding a new little person through the wonders of learning and reading and thinking and becoming who they are! Oh, all the books I can share ... all the ways I can encourage them to think deeply and experience life richly! What an opportunity!

Perhaps this is a moment of clarity about what people really mean when they say a child is a blessing. It's a golden opportunity for the world to become new, for everything to be done better. It can be like living all over again, more joyously!

I am so happy I feel happy, instead of scared, today.